Pardon My French

I promise, I won’t tell.

Cross my heart, my lips are zipped, always. Vent about your insecurities, the ghosts that haunt you. Tell me about the person at work that you hate even though you are nice to his/her face. Private or public, over coffee or perhaps a stiffer drink (Always depending upon the circumstances, right?) whatever you say will never be repeated. Your skeletons will remain closeted forever.

But, secret surprises? Forget it. Go ahead and fault me for breaking tradition, but that’s where I can’t keep it together. Like a big kindergartner, I get really excited and end up giving friends and family their birthday and Christmas gifts early.

Yesterday I couldn’t take it anymore and gave Phil his major Christmas gifts–an engraved ZIPPO lighter and A pair of CDs that I made him entitled “Songs I Could Never Relate to Until I Met You.”

The lighter’s your standard silver brushed chrome ZIPPO, but it’s etched with a mushy message–a reminder, one he can always find in his pocket, that he is loved.

The concept of the CD is pretty self-explanatory. These are songs I’ve heard thousands of times before, but I have come to understand only during the last half of a year because I actually feel like I can relate to what the musicians are expressing. I began brainstorming possible songs shortly after my birthday when he gave me a homemade CD of his own.

Some of the songs on the CD aren’t lyrically relevant to the whole message of the CD, but instead hold special meaning in other ways. For instance, Phil once said he liked the Outkast song “Hey Ya,” which caught me off guard. Very shortly after we had this conversation, I heard Obadiah Parker’s cover for the first time and fell in love with it.
To Phil’s dismay, I can’t stand Meatloaf’s insanely long power ballads. But, I still sit quietly in the car when anything from “Bat out of Hell” comes on the iPod in the car, and patiently listen to the song in it’s entirety.

There are two CDs, but the second CD only has three songs on it. I wanted it to be a tight list and knew exactly what I wanted. My friend Frank said this is very like me, as a journalist, to use only what’s necessary.

The cover art was custom designed, too. I redesigned an old CD in it’s entirety–booklet, back cover and even made a title for the spine. Then, on my typewriter, I wrote him the best explanation that I could for why he is important to me and put it inside the lyric booklet. That part took the longest as I spent days trying to figure out what to say. I typed the original in a document on my laptop I titled “Globalization” instead of something more obvious like “For Phil” so in case he accidentally saw it on my computer, he wouldn’t be tempted by curiosity to click on it. (Though, now, in retrospect, I realize that this may have been a little too oddball of a title.) The whole crafting of the thing took about 8 hours to complete (Cutting, gluing, retyping the same stuff over and over after constantly making mistakes with the typewriter, laminating.)

The booklet ended up being a little thicker than I would have liked because of the lamination, so it doesn’t fit in the case as comfortably as it should. I also ran out of space on the back cover, so the text listing the tracks in pretty cramped.
But, in all, I’m pretty proud of it. Here’s the track list.

SIDE A:
1.) “Moondance” by Van Morrison
2.) “Us” by Regina Spektor
3.) “You Make Me Real” by The Doors
4.) “I Melt With You” by Modern English
5.) “Killing Me Softly With His Song” by The Fugees
6.) “Wild Thing” by The Troggs
7.) “I’d Do Anything For Love (But, I Won’t Do That) by Meatloaf
8.) “I’m a Believer” by The Monkees
9.) “Do You Realize” by The Flaming Lips
10.) “The Origin of Love” By Hedwig and the Angry Inch
11.) “She Blinded Me With Science” by Thomas Dolby
12.) “Fidelity” by Regina Spektor
13.) “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None The Richer
14.) “Moon River” by Andy Williams
15.) “Think I Wanna Die” by Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
16.) “I’ll Be Your Mirror” by The Velvet Underground
17.) “You’re My Best Friend” by Queen
18.) “Digital Love” by Daft Punk
19.) “I Want You” by Bob Dylan
20.) “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” by Frankie Valli

SIDE B:
21.) “Sister Do You Know My Name” by The White Stripes
22.) “Maps” by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
23.) “Hey Ya” by Obadiah Parker

To make someone a music mix is like writing that person a letter. These mishmashes, while seeming simple, can drudge up old memories, reflect a state of mind or personal taste, or speak volumes about one’s feelings for another human being. Made for an individual in mind, there’s very careful consideration when it comes to choosing a playlist of songs that will convey that certain emotion or message. Before CDs, the interwebz, and iTunes, MixTapes were a much more tedious labor–which is exactly why I have always considered the gift of a plastic cassette–played, rewound, fast forwarded thousands of times over–and hand scrawled note, a bit of a more romantic gesture.
I spoke of this once, in 140 characters or less, on Twitter, several months ago.
Phil remembered.

The 17 track cassette is named “Chosen Carefully”, for the lyrics of last track, “Sure As Shit” by Kathleen Edwards. Phil also burned me a copy of the playlist on CD, just in case I couldn’t access the proper technology.

Phil spoiled me during my birthday. He gave me the first of many gifts weeks ago, a pair of knee high black Chuck Taylor All Stars that I once mentioned in passing that I would “one day” by myself a pair because of how different they were, unlike anything most would buy, and how I knew I’d wear them proudly. Saturday he and my sister threw me a surprise birthday party. Unfortunately, more than one person spoiled the surprise, but I kept this information to myself. I didn’t want it to seem their hard work was not appreciated. It made me really happy. We drank rum and cider, ate vegan dips and cake made by Phil’s parents special for me, watched horror movies and I got to visit with some people I haven’t seen in a really long time.

My birthday itself was relaxing: I slept in, spent the day with Phil, rediscovered the old mansion site in Stony Creek (that I’ve been looking for since July), enjoyed the fall weather and saw “Zombieland.” When I came home, by dad had a bouquet of roses for me and a 22-year-old bottle of Apple Boones Farm that he said he bought around the time I was born. It’s nice and aged (haha), but it’s a screw off lid (and sugar), just like modern Boones, which I’m pretty sure means it isn’t safe to drink.

My friend from study abroad, Chia Ling sent me a really impressive package from Taiwan. The box arrived on my birthday and was full of snacks, cookies, tea, a white out gun (an inside joke from her to me– I was always stealing hers in class) and a very special bottle of alcohol that she said is drank only on very special occasions such as Chinese New Year.

All of this, combined with Facebook greetings and birthday cards made me feel very special, like a fairy princess on my birthday this year. Thanks!

After weeks of that torturous Pure Michigan Fall commercial and a lot of premature scarf wearing and drinking of spiced hot apple cider, Fall’s FINALLY here. The leaves are starting to change, the smoky smell is back in the air and the nights are the perfect cold temperature. October’s coming and I’m extra excited for my favorite time of year, since I spent these months last year in another country.

I looked out the window today and saw the little girls who live next door (my mom calls them “The Mermaids”) with rakes and garbage bags in arms. That’s when I realized that I was humming “Dead Leaves on the Dirty Ground” by The White Stripes. It inspired me to make a seasonal playlist of songs that describe (in their own way) the feeling in the air this time of year, both musically and lyrically. Here it is:

1. “Dead Leaves on the Dirty Ground” by The White Stripes
2. “Scatterbrain” (As Dead as Leaves) by Radiohead
3. “Let Go” by Frou Frou
4. “Another Brick in the Wall” by Pink Floyd
5. “Thriller” by Michael Jackson
6. “September” by Earth Wind and Fire
7. “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” by T.V. Carpio (From “Across the Universe)
8. “Autumn Almanac” by The Kinks
9. “Zombie” by The Cranberries
10. “California Dreamin’” by The Mamas and the Papas
11. “Forever Autumn” by The Moody Blues
12. “Scarborough Fair” by Simon & Garfunkel
13. “Boys Don’t Cry” by The Cure
14. “M79″ by Vampire Weekend
15. “When All is Said and Done” by ABBA
16. “Autumn Sweater” by Yo Le Tango
17. “Autumn Song” by Manic Street Preachers
18. “The Ghost Song” by The Doors
19. “John Wayne Gacy Jr.” by Sufjan Stevens
20. “Golden Loom” by Bob Dylan

Phil bought me a pair of white high tops about a month ago after we began to notice that my newsprint ones had badly begun to wither away. (Let’s face it, though. I’ll wear those things until they will no longer physically stay on my feet.) I gave them to Maria, asked only that she stick with a peacock feathers theme and to just have fun and go crazy with them.
Today, she gave me the custom pair of shoes and they look absolutely amazing. There’s a lot of careful detail on these chucks, it’s clear she spent a ton of time on them. I couldn’t have bought a pair of shoes like these in any store (or online) and been more happy. Thanks, Maria!

Before:

After:

Photos courtesy of Maria Filar.

Maria made this painting for me, an inspiration from some photos of when I was little. Not only is it beautiful, it’s accurate- It captures the essence of my childhood so spot on.

My sister and I lived in an imaginary world, inside a playhouse my dad made for us from a crate. It was black and white, had a functioning door bell and a red door. With a backpack full of my own makeshift spy gear and a notebook, it was there where I first began to document the way I saw the world.